I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
