Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
