dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
