You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
