Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
