That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
