Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
