I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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