I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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