I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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