No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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