Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
