ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
