I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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