They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
