I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
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