At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
