very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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