Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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