Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
