dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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