And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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