Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
