we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
