I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize