Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
