i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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