we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
