As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
