i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
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