i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
