please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
