PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
