you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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