Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
