yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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