Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
