I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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