they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Randomize