it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
