if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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