he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
