We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
