it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
