Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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