I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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