Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
