grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
