I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
