windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
