This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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