Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
