You're so nebulous sometimes
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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