I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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