Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
