It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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