new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
