I love black thongs
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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