If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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