Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Duck Duck Cougar?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
