He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
