Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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