it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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