is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
