well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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