just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
